I'm not sure why I have this blog, it's kind of stupid. I had actually put up this blog so I could I guess record my high school experience but...so far it stinks and I'm not sure that when I reread all of this later I'll want to relive all the bad experiences of my life. And I know that's really depressing but I had a revelation of sorts today.

I've been really naive. Even though I nag and brag about how people can be cruel I truly hadn't realized how cruel. Not until today. Now...now I know that when we are pressed down to the ends of our tank and going on desperate we'll say a lot of things, we'll lie, we'll say anything to look like the victim, we'll say anything so that it's not our fault.

So, I...I'm not sure how to word this. I got into an accident. It was terrible. I can't get the image out of my mind. All I can see is this car coming straight at me and then ju the realization that I had been hit. I was in an accident. I...remember being so confused...did it really just happen?

Right now, it's been 4 hours since the accident, it took at least an hour for the cops to get there. Or rather, cop. It was when I was driving home from school...I'm not sure whether I'm in shock or simply depressed. I mean I cried already, and I still want to cry but...

I couldn't drive home. I was so petrified I couldn't drive my car home. So my mom, the angel that she is, drove me home and then went back to get her car.

Did I mention the whole driver's door is completely trashed, yeah the guy rammed me in the side.

But not according to him.

I had given him the benefit of the doubt, honestly, I hadn't even thought to truly blamed him. I just wanted the incident to be over. But no, he had to bring in "his friends" and really it just pissed me off that was lying about the "accident".

I wasn't going to blame him but now, now I'm pissed. I wish the guy was here right now so I could slap the idiot. I hope God smites him. Okay, I'm sorry that wasn't very Christian-like, I just, justice deserves to be served and I hope, my only hope right now, is the insurance company. If somehow we can get that biscuit-head to pay full for my car, then the world just might be right again....

I think...I think I won't be able to drive a car again. I'm....terrified to drive again. I don't...I don't want that to happen again. And I know that's cowardly but I'm scared. Okay, I'm still just a kid and I"m terrified out of my mind.

What if it happens again?

I...regret the fact that somehow we've so advanced and stopped walking everywhere because I really don't mind walking everywhere but my parents wouldn't let me.

Speaking of my parents, I wish I didn't have any right now because now is the time where they fully utilize that whole" we yell at you because we care" thing which to me is really stupid because IT WASN'T MY FAULT!

I don't know what to do. I don't even know if I'm going to keep up with this blog anymore. I'm starting to realize it's really stupid. and depressing. Boo, down with the world.. I should be grateful, I now that. But today I realized that knowing something is a completely different thing then actually "KNOWING" something.

Le sigh.