Time seems to have flown by in the blink of an eye. I feel like my life is slipping away and no matter how hard I try to hang onto the minutes, they disappear out of fingertips. Slowly I can feel myself wasting away, not like in the I'm-growing-old way but in the I'm-drifting-away-from-God and that terrifies me. I don't want to go away from God. He's always been my constant. I don't know what life would be without Him. 
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But I just can't seem to get myself in alignment with Him. It seems like I'm fighting Him day in and day out and I just want a break. But every single time I've taken a break, the Devil's taken a snap at me and my barriers are weakening. This is a battle I cannot stand to lose and should have already been won in the first place.
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I've been having doubts and I'm constantly questioning everything. There seems to be this new little voice in my head that says, "Just forget about God. Life would be so much easier without him. Join normal teenage hood. Be a rebel. Go out to parties, date whoever, have a drink once in while, smoke for the heck of it, curse whenever you want, forget about grades, your parents don't really care about you so why listen?" The stupid voice is so annoying because I've actually thought about it and that annoys the heck out of me.
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I shouldn't even have to think about it. God is who I want. Not normality. Not having "life experiences". No, none of those matter, just God. I know this...so why can't I live it? Why am I so desperate to fight? Why am I even considering an alternative?
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I'm in a dark place right now and I want to go back to the light. I want God back, but I know He's never left, so why is everything so dark?
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God I'm calling out to you. Please, keep me strong through this battle. Let God be victorious once again.